You Can’t Spell Ford Without an FU

IMG_0522.JPG

Reprinted from craigslist.

Hello, Dad? 
Hey, what's up?
We're in Connecticut and the car stopped.
What do you mean, it stopped?
On the highway. As we were driving. The engine just. . .stopped.
On the highway?
Yeah.
As you were driving?
Yeah.
It stopped working?
Yeah. Everything went dark and we glided to the side of the road.
(A silence grows over the line. The room is somehow warmer now. Sweat begins to bead. Eyes dart back and forth. Something is heavy.)
Without warning?
Yeah. Well no. A red light came on awhile before.
Red light?
Yeah.
Check engine light?
Yeah.
How long before?
Pretty long. 
Oh god.
Triple A guy is here. He said the engine seized and we need to tow it somewhere on a flatbed truck.
Seized?
Yeah. He said the oil is milky or something and there's water in it and he doesn't think the engine will work.
Until we change the oil?
No. Like ever.
Oh god.
Yeah. And it's $500 to tow the car home.
I'll put it on my. . .
Cash.